The Power of Resilience
Life is full of unexpected challenges—failed relationships, career setbacks, financial struggles, or personal loss. What sets people apart is how they respond to these moments. Resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity, isn’t a trait you’re simply born with—it’s a skill you can develop and strengthen.
You might wonder why you should trust me when it comes to talking about personal growth and bouncing back from tough times. Well, I’ve been through one of life’s hardest challenges—homelessness. I know what it feels like to hit rock bottom and wonder if things will ever get better. ?♀️
But more importantly, I know exactly what it takes to climb back up. I’m not just sharing theories from books—I’m sharing real strategies that helped me go from sleeping on the New York subways to building a life I’m proud of. Every tip and piece of advice I give comes from my own experience of starting with nothing but hope and determination.
I believe that if I could rebuild my life from scratch, you have the power to overcome your challenges too. That’s why I’m so passionate about helping others find their strength and resilience—because I’ve walked this path myself.
In this post, I’ll explain how you can build the resilience you will need to not only overcome life’s obstacles but thrive in the face of them.
Why Resilience Matters
Resilience is more than just surviving; it’s about adapting, growing, and emerging stronger after any adversity you experience in life. According to researchers in this field, they have been able to establish that resilience helps improve mental health and clarity, foster emotional stability, and create a greater sense of control over life. It’s the foundation for achieving lasting growth.
1. Reframe Failure as Growth
Setbacks in life are inevitable and unavoidable, but the key is…how you perceive them makes all the difference. Instead of me viewing failure as a reflection of my worth, I considered it a learning opportunity.
- Actionable Tip: After each setback, ask yourself, What did I learn? How can I improve? Write these answers in a journal to track your growth over time.
- Example: Think of Thomas Edison, who famously reframed his thousands of failed attempts to invent the light bulb as learning opportunities.
2. Build a Resilience Toolkit
Resilience doesn’t just suddenly appear like a pimple. You have to proactively build it within yourself by creating what I call your “toolkit” of strategies that tap into that “beast” in you!
Here are some strategies that I used and you can too. But…you know what’s cool about building inner strength? It’s like a three-legged stool—you need three things: (1) emotions; (2) your body, and; (3) your connections with others to stay steady.
When I was homeless, I learned that the hard way. Some days I’d focus on keeping my emotions from getting out of control and started my day with deep breathing and writing down small wins. Other days, my body needed attention—even if that just meant a walk in the local park or track or finding a safe place to wash up. And those moments when I pushed past my pride to ask my siblings could I spend one night with them saved me more times than I can count.
3. Resilience as a Superpower
For me…the real power came when I blended all three. I started my mornings with a walk (physical) while practicing what I was grateful for and not focusing on the negative aspects (emotional) and stopping by my family members just to say hello instead of asking for something (social). I would turn these challenges into strength by working out in public spaces, like jogging around a school track (physical), building confidence (emotional), and hanging out with my sisters (social).
The beast within you grows stronger when you feed all parts of yourself—your heart, your body, and your connections. Trust me, I’ve been there, and this three-way approach is what helped me immensely.
4. Focus on What You CAN Control
One of the biggest obstacles to resilience is focusing on things that you have no control over. One of my favorite words became…REDIRECTION.
Here’s a trick that saved me during my toughest days: whenever everything felt like my life was over or it was falling apart and I felt overwhelmed, I’d focus on the small things I could actually control.
Maybe I couldn’t change my whole situation right away, but I COULD control my daily rhythm…that is…planning which one of my family members to visit, who might be able to spare a few dollars for food. I learned to stretch those precious dollars they gave me, carefully dividing the money between subway fares for a warm, dry place to sleep and just enough food to keep me going.
Even these small choices—deciding when to visit relatives, which subway lines to ride at night, where to find the cheapest meal—became my way of staying in control. Each tiny decision was like holding onto a piece of my dignity, even during those long nights riding the subway back and forth, trying to make it to another day.
These small decisions were like little anchors keeping me steady. It’s like finding stepping stones in a rough river—each small choice I could control helped me feel a bit more in charge of my life, even when things felt overwhelming.
- Actionable Tip: Create your “circle of control” list. Write down everything that’s within your control (e.g., your attitude, effort) and commit to focusing ONLY on those items.
5. Develop a Growth Mindset
Ah…this one was my “saving graces”…so to speak!
The library became more than just a warm place to escape the cold—it became my classroom. Funny thing tho…my whole journey with growth mindset started almost by accident. I was wandering through the shelves one day, trying to kill time and stay warm, when I found myself in the self-help section. Maybe it was fate, or maybe I was just drawn to anything that might help make sense of my situation. But those books about mindset and personal growth? They sparked something in me when I read them.
I wasn’t just reading about growth and transformation—I was living it! Hour after hour, day after day, I’d immerse myself in these books, soaking up ideas about resilience and mental strength. The library’s heating system kept my body warm, but these books? They kept my hope warm! ?
I realized I had choices: I could either fall into the trap of “woe is me” thinking, or I could view each day as a chance to learn and grow stronger. I chose growth. Instead of seeing myself as “just some homeless person,” I started seeing myself as someone going through a tough chapter—but not the whole story—this was not who I was…this was just a temporary condition I was experiencing.
When I’d get those few dollars from family for food and subway rides, I didn’t just see it as surviving another day. I saw it as practicing resourcefulness. Every conversation with family members wasn’t just about getting help—it was about keeping my social connections alive. Even those long nights on the subway taught me something about resilience and planning.
This “growth mindset” meant I stopped beating myself up about my situation and started asking myself, “What have I learned from this?” and “How does this experience make me stronger?”
It wasn’t about pretending everything was fine—because let’s be real, it clearly wasn’t. But what it was...it was about believing that any challenge I faced, even homelessness, could teach me something valuable about myself and life.
Trust me, with me not thinking “hopelessness” and adopting the mindset “temporary,” and thinking these experiences are just “life lessons” made all the difference in keeping my spirit alive during those tough times.
- Actionable Tip: Whenever you’re faced with adversity, reframe, rethink it by asking yourself, What can I learn from this experience?
6. Practice Gratitude and Optimism
Being grateful and optimistic helped me focus on the positives things in my life, even during tough times. These practices rewire your brain to be more resilient over time.
During my toughest days, I would think about an old saying I heard somewhere that changed how I looked at everything: it goes like this: “I complained about having no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” Did you ever hear that saying?
Those words hit differently when you’re living through hard times. Yes, I was sleeping on subways and counting pennies for food, but in the library and in public, I’d see elderly folks who had it even tougher than me. They were struggling with health issues or their ability to walk. It humbled me. It made me realize that even in my struggles, I still had my health, my mind, and the ability to change my situation.
This wasn’t about minimizing my own challenges—it was about finding gratitude in the middle of the storm. That shift in perspective gave me the strength to keep pushing forward, to make the most of what I did have instead of drowning in and focusing on the “woe is me” thoughts about what I didn’t have.
- Actionable Tip: Start a gratitude journal and write down three things you’re grateful for each day.
7. Celebrate Small Wins
REMEMBER…resilience isn’t just about overcoming monumental challenges—it’s also about recognizing your progress along the way.
- Actionable Tip: After facing a tough situation, take a moment to acknowledge how you handled it and what you accomplished…and give yourself a “pat on the back!”
Conclusion: Resilience Is Your Key To Growth
Now, I am not trying to blow smoke you know where…but what I am saying is…resilience isn’t about being perfect; it’s about bouncing back stronger, wiser, and more prepared for the next challenge. By reframing and rethinking failures, and building a toolkit, and focusing on growth, you can turn adversity into an opportunity for transformation.
Arre you ready to dive deeper into the journey of growth? Check out the my other articles: “The Path to Lasting Growth: How to Overcome Challenges and Thrive” and explore other posts in this series like “Goal Setting That Sticks” and “Mastering the Art of Self-Discipline”…trust me…it’s some good stuff! ?
